Who said what?

“Shelly said I was ugly,” my eleven year old daughter said when she came home from school. “Who did?” I asked. “A girl in my English class, do you remember her?" was her reply. "I don't, Why would she say that, and more importantly, do you think it’s true?” I asked. She thought for a minute , “Not really, but it wasnt very nice of her.”

I agreed, told her how pretty she is, and then we spoke for a few minutes trying to decipher the root of Shelly's criticism. (Shelly liked a boy, who liked my daughter, nothing more... )

“You want critics in your life,” I said to my daughter. “really?” she questioned. “ Yes, trust me on this one.”
Although it’s hard to comprehend for an eleven year old, everyone who has ever accomplished anything significant in life has a loyal following of critics. You can start with the president, then work backwards from there. Find any successful person or worthy cause, and I can point you at a person, a writer or a blog that despises them.

We know that the higher you climb the ladder in life, the more your rear end is exposed. On the Free the IBO blog, the author said “To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

To put it differently, ” If no one is shooting at you, you're not doing enough.”

Critics are a part of life and are not necessarily a bad thing. We can listen to what is said, then sort through all the noise to see if any of the points are valid. If I were to internalize ALL the criticism I have received over the years, I would be in a homeless shelter somewhere, sucking my thumb, rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

Criticism can be very helpful if it’s coming from a good source with the right intentions. It can help by;

1. Identifying flat spots in your thinking.
2. Making you aware of others’ perspective.
3. Keeping you accountable for your words and actions.

I gave my daughter an outline I have used for years to cut through most of it.

“First, you need to weed out jealousy, bitter people, or those with a different philosophical or moral compass.” I said. “If an atheist criticizes me for being a Christian, personally, I take that as a compliment.”

“Next, you have to figure out the relevance. I have always based the weight of any criticism on three factors. My relationship with them, their knowledge of the events, and their personal track record. "

I add them up as follows;

Their relationship with me
None 1
Acquaintance 2
Friend 3
Relative/Good friend 4
Mentor 5

Their Knowledge of the events
None 1
very Little 2
Some 3
knowledgeable 4
Expert 5

Their Track record
None 1
Minimal 2
Average 3
Good 4
Successful 5

"Add up the three, and this is what you should do," I explained.

3 - 6 Flush it ( Not worth thinking about )
7 - 9 Acknowledge it ( Look at facts to verify )
10 - 12 Consider it ( Most likely some truth in it )
13 -15 Respect it ( Look again at your beliefs and validate them or change)

When a critic scores a 3, you are wasting your time even thinking about it.

Conversely, if one scores a 15, and you don’t listen, shame on you!

This is why the decisions being made up in Ada the last few months have been so baffling to many of us. Can you imagine having a group of critics show up at your door with the following score?

Relationship 5 (Good friends / Mentors to 1000's, combined total of 150+ years partnered with you)
Knowledge 5 (The best and brightest you have )
Track Record 5 ( Speaks for itself )

"Experts" in the bleachers?

Last night I went to a high school football game. With two teen cheerleader daughters, I try to make it to as many as possible. I got there a little late so I was forced to sit in the “nose bleed section” near the top of the bleachers. Sitting directly behind me was “The Man”. If you have ever been to a sporting event, then you know this guy. He is the vocal one who has his personal commentary on every play. The one that know everything about everything but never personally made it in the game.

This guy yelled at the kids, chewed out the coaches, then called the referee “blind” when he made a call that he didn't like. “I am sure he had a better view from a quarter mile away than the ref did on the field,” I remember thinking.

As much as I wanted to say something, for the sake of the kids around me, I bit my lip and waited anxiously for the end of the game. Many others were not as patient. Argument after argument broke out behind me. The game was no longer about the action that night, it was about the opinions in the stands. I finally had it, “GUYS!”, I said,” While you all have interesting ideas, The Game is on the field!”

When I woke up this morning, I checked my e-mails, then ran through the various A/Q & Team blogs to get caught up on the last few days. I hit the Alticor media blog, the Amway blog, then read a few of the comments. Twenty minutes later I found myself smiling. I figured out the name of the guy sitting behind me last night. His name is Tex. This guy has to be the most prolific poster this industry has ever seen. I bet the commentary on the A/Q blogs are 50% Tex. Either him personally sharing his wisdom regarding every post made, or replies back to his verbal diarrhea. All of this from an guy that has stated he is not even a Platinum. His thoughts on the “scam” have been answered by Team and explained well by Q'Reilly. Now it has just become annoying.

My mom always said;
Never wrestle with a pig ... you'll both get dirty, and only the pig will enjoy it. Somewhere Tex is smiling.....

Remember Team, ( I am speaking to myself as well ),

The Game is on the Field.

We have a million leaders to find!